A LETTER TO A GIRAFFE

Dear Giraffe,

Seriously, what’s your deal?  I’ve seen lots of animals in my day but…. you have a giant neck.  When I say giant I don’t mean kind of big or larger than average  --I mean dammit huge.  Your neck is like an orange pole sprouting out of your body.  Isn’t it weird to have your face so far away from the rest of your body?  Why don’t you make any sound.  Are you shy?  Perhaps you’re just insecure about your orange fur and maniacally huge neck?  Do you have a long neck because you eat leaves or do you eat leaves because your head is right next to them?  What do you do?  Does anyone have any kind of relationship with you besides pointing out your neck?  Look giraffe, I don’t mean to be harsh but…maybe you should think about a change.  Isn’t it hard to run?  Do you not topple?  I guess what I’m trying to say is…I love you.

Sincerely,