A LETTER TO THE INVENTOR OF THE TANK TOP

Dear Inventor of the Tank Top,

Were you just wearing a shirt one day and found it to be too hot thus coming up with the idea?  You’re a genius.  Do you know the guy who invented shorts?  Is it you?  I didn’t even think of that until now.  How do you feel when you see someone wearing shorts and a tank top?  You must be proud.  That’s nearly an outfit.  My personal favorite is the tank top with pants.  I hope you are not offended.  Why tank?  I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure it out.  I kind of assumed that the “t” in t-shirt stands for tank also but that’s as far as I get.  I now call my t-shirts “tank shirts.”  The only “tank” I know of are those big war machines aimed at enemies.  I guess it just goes into the category of words that sound the same but have different meaning.  Like wheel and “we’ll go to the park.”  I have four tank tops.  One of them is homemade.  I cut off the sleeves of one of my tank shirts because I was sweating a lot.  Is that how you first came up with the idea?  Just think  --I could have been the one.  I probably would have called them Sleevios though.  Do you still have the original prototype?  People must have laughed at you but you stuck to your dream.  Where would we be without people like you today?  Or without others like the creator of leg warmers, sandals, and the wonderful -missing it’s top part of the hat, that we call…the visor.  Did you ever see a Jewish guy wear a visor?  Does it just look like he’s wearing a hat?  It just proves that you should never give up no matter what they say.  I’m thinking about cutting the knees out of my pants and calling them Hole Runners.  I’d like your advice.

Sincerely,

Jon